Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is usually seen as profile on the autism spectrum.  However my own daughter who has an ADHD profile suffers from PDA to a high level, this then makes me ask questions around wether she is AuDHD or if that PDA is common in other areas too - still working that one out!

PDA is characterised by an extreme avoidance of everyday demands and expectations due, often a simple request like "brush your teeth" can put the child into fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Children with PDA often exhibit behaviours that can be challenging for parents and educators to manage, but understanding these behaviours and employing low demand language can help maintain a child's regulation and overall well-being.

What Does PDA Look Like?

Children with PDA may exhibit a range of behaviours that stem from their need to avoid demands and expectations. These behaviours can include:

•  Avoidance: Going to great lengths to avoid demands, including creating distractions or...

Here we find ourselves, my eleven-year-old daughter, and I, in the midst of a storm of emotions. She’s hurling words I can’t put into writing, aimed at both my husband and me. She’s sprawled on the floor, her fingernails tracing lines on her arms, tears flowing uncontrollably, and her breath is coming in rapid gasps.

“This is not okay,” my husband says. “We should stop.” I assure him no; it’s okay and remind him this is where we see a central nervous system disability, the thing that others don’t see, the thing she masks hardest.

It’s been a relentlessly stressful two weeks, culminating in an overwhelming fight-or-flight response, pushing her to breaking point.

How did we arrive here, and more importantly, how did we then navigate our way out of this turbulent sea of emotions?

Our journey began when my daughter’s hamster and two beloved cats passed away during a six-week adventure in Bali. Just when the heartache...